GCN Conference Day 3

Today was by far the most intense day of the conference so far. There really are no words. Its going to take some time to process what happened here this weekend; and what is happening. I will say that I've cried a lot tonight. There's just something that God is doing, in me; and in our community. Revival is here. I believe we dont even know the full extent of what has gone on here this weekend in the Lord and the impact it is going to have in our lives and in our communities is going to unfold and reveal itself in the months to come. Lots to process.

Jay Bakker was awesome, The two small groups I attended left me changed.
They were meditation in the Christian life, and emotional healing in Him.
Wow. Powerful, experiential stuff. The time of sharing tonight, there just isn't a word to describe how it felt to hear all the testimonies of what GCN means to people, what the Lord is doing through us for each other. I had a major catharsis at the close of the sharing. I couldn't stop crying. Thank you Eric, Chris, Father David,Steve F, and others for being there. I have to give a special thanks to Eric though, he stood with me and held me through it, and spoke life giving and affirming words into my spirit, and gave a Word from the Lord: "speak faith, prophet. This is your year of receiving. Its time to let go and receive, and as you let go there is even more you will be given. This is a year of faith. You are going into the year in faith, and will come out of it by faith". I have actually been sensing that 2008 is going to be a very good year. Eric also indicated something about 2008 merely being a preparation for something astounding God has prepared for 2009.


The sense of what the Spirit of God is doing here, is that we are being called, prepared, and sent out! Revival is here, we are it, and its time to live it. Forgive those who hurt our community, live lives of authentic Christian faith and move out into actively sharing Christ and being about His business in our world. That its not important to get an institution's approval, because we already have God's approval and He is giving us work to do.

Several of us spent a couple hours late in the night singing and worshiping God in the lobby. This was an amazing time. During this, God gave me a Word, which was "I have loved you with an everlasting love. No weapon formed against you shall stand, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn, because your righteousness is from me, and I have loved you with an everlasting love". At least that's as best I can recall it.

I am slipping in and out of my social anxiety and rejection issues. More out of them than in I guess. But they are there. I usually haven't known quite where to "place myaelf" in the general sessions. I stand around a lot and feel alone in the crowd.
I come up here to my room a lot, and blog and PM with a couple people. I don't really, truly feel a part of even with all this amazing love going on. I still sense, it still looks like there are groups who are bonded together but I'm not bonded with a group.

I have had about 6 hours of sleep this whole time. I am going around in an altered state of consciousness! My whole entire conference has been experienced in some kind of altered state of mind. Which I believe was what God intended, as it in some way allowed me to experience it in a certain way, I don't know, maybe more able to surrender?